The Pasta Allegory

What does queer ideology have to do with pasta?

I wouldn’t have made the connection myself, if I hadn’t been in an Italian restaurant (and very hungry) while discussing queer things with friends. Apparently food was on my brain.

This was the topic:
Some people have this idea, that queer ideology wants to make everyone into some kind of genderless grey mass where no one has an identity. That by blending out the boundaries between female and male, and enabling it for anyone to just be queer because they don’t want to be put in one box or another, gender would just disappear, and we would all be left lost and helpless from not knowing our place. That the world would be boring (yes, well, if fear of hatecrimes is part of your daily life, maybe you would lose a certain kind of thrill if the threat didn’t exist anymore), which is an absolutely ridiculous statement (but I’ve heard it), with the reasoning that the friction between male and female would be gone.

So where do we get the pasta into this?

I wanted to find a pedagogic way to explain what queers want to accomplish. Pasta is great and everyone knows pasta.

Imagine there were only two kinds of pasta, say, spaghetti and macaroni. They are made of the same dough, but just by looking at them, you might not realize this because they look very different. That’s because /the pasta machine/ makes them look different.


Now a lot of the spaghetti and the macaroni will not care so much, and just be happy with being spaghetti and macaroni. That’s totally fine. But there will also be some macaroni that would rather be spaghetti, and some spaghetti that would rather be macaroni. It’s unfair that they didn’t have a saying in what they would rather be, when /the pasta machine/ put them in their molds and just made them into one of the two on random.

But, the thing is, we do not only have the option to make spaghetti and macaroni out of this dough. There is also penne, which is kind-of the middle thing. There is fusilli, tortellini, farfalle, udon, and tagliatelle. There are little wheels and beads and bows of pasta, lasagna, couscous, ravioli and cannelloni. There is lumache and croxetti and conchiglie and other crazy things no-one ever heard about, there is Hello Kitty pasta, pumpkin flavoured pasta and pasta shaped like boobs, green pasta, black pasta, pink pasta, gluten-free pasta, and I could go on forever! That’s the potential there is. But the pasta machine decided: no, there can only be spaghetti and macaroni made from this dough.

happy together

Queers don’t want everyone to be just dough. Queer makes it possible to choose whatever you want, and not let /the pasta machine/ control your life! That’s why the world will definitely not be a boring one if we get rid of this ridiculous hurtful assumption of what male and female is, and try to open our minds.